You can never spoil a fetus or a baby

Yesterday your newborn was a fetus…

Human babies need to be born at 9 months because they survive by having big brains. If our babies waited until their brains were fully developed, their heads would be too big to come out of our pelvis.

So if you treat the baby the first 3 months like a fetus- you will have a happier baby and an easier adjustment period postpartum.

Don’t treat her like a newborn yet, treat it like when she was inside your womb. What was it like on the inside? Your baby was very tightly contained inside you. Every time she moved, she would feel secure and snug.

Your fetus also felt constant movement. Think about all the activity you do throughout the day- walking, going up and down stairs, folding laundry, even when resting you are always moving. Your fetus was constantly being moved around.

The noise when she is inside your belly is louder then a vacuum cleaner. Your heart pumping, blood moving through your arteries and veins, amniotic fluid sloshing around and the muted noise from the outside world- talking, laughter and music all contribute to the constant noise.

When they are inside your belly, they are allowed to suck on their hand or tongue—Sucking is very calming for a baby, releasing hormones and providing rhythmic movement.

All that they are experiencing on the inside you try to replicate when they are on the outside.

Position is important for calming- usually anywhere but on their backs when they are being held or are fussy. When they are sound asleep and being placed in bed, they need to sleep on their backs.

So the life of a fetus is snug surroundings, loud shushing noise, constant moving and sucking.

Lets put is all together:

A secure swaddle is the beginning of the dance with your fetus-like newborn. Once she is secure, then hold her in your arms, side lying preferably and start moving. We always see parents, rocking and moving as they hold there babies. If your newborn is really crying loudly, then match that volume with shushing. It needs to be as loud as she is crying or she won’t even hear it! Get her attention, then as she settles, you can decrease the volume of the shushing. Remember she is comforted by the noise because that is what she was used to on the inside of your body. When they are calm you can then change the shushing for a radio set to static on an AM radio station. The white noise can be used anytime the baby is sleeping.

One of the last steps to calming your newborn is sucking. Breastfeeding is a great way to get your newborn to calm down. But when you are ready to sleep and your partner is rocking the baby then she may need to use a pacifier or suck on a finger to help her settle.

Do you have a specific newborn sleep question or comment? Please email at SwaddleKeeper@gmail.com

Sleep Well, Kim Stolte RN